SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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