I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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