I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
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