Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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