Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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