In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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