I could have mohawked her pubes.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize