Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
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Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
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Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We need a shit load of segways right now
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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