so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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