i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
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She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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