New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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