Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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