I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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