Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.

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  (248): Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on. http://tfl.nu/7zdh
  Replies (2) Good night (1318) Bad night (546) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."

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  (850): I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House." http://tfl.nu/nesx
  Replies (17) Good night (2710) Bad night (746) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.

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  (713): Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy. http://tfl.nu/uglu
  Replies (3) Good night (2463) Bad night (623)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.

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  (360): She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt. http://tfl.nu/1my8
  Replies (20) Good night (1236) Bad night (2737) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  hey. who tried to drive me home last night?

  (904): View more from Florida

  not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?

  (850): View more from Florida

  i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.

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  (850): hey. who tried to drive me home last night? (904): not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"? (850): i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants. http://tfl.nu/wk6x
  Replies (33) Good night (21189) Bad night (1945)
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  (925): View more from California

  We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...

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  (925): We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo... http://tfl.nu/7fya
  Replies (6) Good night (820) Bad night (2130) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.

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  (586): My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas. http://tfl.nu/bset
  Replies (8) Good night (672) Bad night (2393) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.

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  (201): I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay. http://tfl.nu/g3mb
  Replies (1) Good night (1439) Bad night (657) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.

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  (615): You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy. http://tfl.nu/cdg1
  Replies (10) Good night (629) Bad night (1387) Order T-Shirt
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  (559): View more from California

  I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas

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  (559): I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas http://tfl.nu/6rrb
  Replies (9) Good night (2081) Bad night (520) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend

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  (+44): I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend http://tfl.nu/ua0w
  Replies (11) Good night (2272) Bad night (609) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.

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  (+44): Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is. http://tfl.nu/4j3n
  Replies (5) Good night (2085) Bad night (282) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...

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  (909): I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji... http://tfl.nu/rxc7
  Replies (5) Good night (699) Bad night (227)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.

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  (515): We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high. http://tfl.nu/7iqu
  Replies (13) Good night (1133) Bad night (263) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you

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  (425): I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you http://tfl.nu/h4jv
  Replies (1) Good night (478) Bad night (161) Order T-Shirt

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