11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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