I want to stick my p in your. b.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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