i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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