you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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