Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize