homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize