Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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