Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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