counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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