the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
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I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
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Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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