He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
is wine microwaveable?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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