Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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