And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize