the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Never underestimate the power of titties
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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