he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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