What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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