We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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