I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
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Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
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Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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