Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
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i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
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You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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