Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
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I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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