if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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