Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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