Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize