That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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