People in love make me want to vomit
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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