there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So much rum. So many feels.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
