he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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