Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
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I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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