she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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