Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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