Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize