dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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