Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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