I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
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Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
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Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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