we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize