Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize